Wasting All These Tears
by UnbrokenBarista
Summary: Two Shot song fic inspired by Cassadee Pope's 'Wasting All These Tears'. Rated for content and language.
1. Chapter 1

**Here's the first part of my fic based on the song Wasting All These Tears by Cassadee Pope. It is EO pairing in THIS chapter, however the conclusion (Chapter 2) will be Livid. This is just insanely smutty, so if you don't like that kind of stuff, don't read.**

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_And you left me_  
_Standing on the corner crying_  
_Feeling like a fool for trying_  
_I don't even remember why_  
_I'm wasting all these tears on you_  
_I wish I could erase our memory_  
_'Cause you didn't give a damn about me_  
_And finally I'm through_  
_Wasting all these tears on you_

It had been three months since Elliot shot and killed Jenna in the squadroom. Three months since Jenna killed Sister Peg.

_I remember the feeling of horror that ran through my veins when I felt for Sister Peg's pulse only to feel nothing. I looked up at Elliot, the tears stinging my eyes. "She's gone," I whispered. _

_I could tell that something inside of him snapped the moment his bullet hit Jenna. Once statements were taken and Elliot was officially put on suspension, I walked out with him, climbing into the drivers side of the car, looking over at him. "Where to?"_

_"Your place," he said, his voice gritty and raw._

_I nodded. "You want to grab anything on the way over?" I asked gently, starting the car and heading on my way to my apartment. _

_"You got bourbon?"_

_"Fresh bottle."_

_"Just drive."_

_When we arrived to my apartment building we walked into my apartment. I went into the kitchen and pulled the full bottle of bourbon out of the cabinet. I grabbed two glasses, pouring some of the rich amber liquid into each, handing him one. We both drank the liquid down quickly. _

_I looked at him. "You want to sit?"_

_He shook his head, pouring himself more bourbon then he looked at me. "I killed a kid, Liv. A child is dead because of me."_

_"El, she opened fire in a squadroom full of cops. She killed a suspect and an innocent bystander. If it wasn't you, it would have been someone else. You did what you had to."_

_"It doesn't matter," he shook his head. "Liv, I need to forget. How do you forget?"_

_"El I-"_

_"Please. How?"_

_I could tell he was desperate. He was begging, tears in his eyes. "I usually find someone in a bar. Bring them home. A mourning fuck."_

_He looked into my eyes. I could feel my heart beating hard against my chest. He stepped towards me, pulling me close and attacking my lips with his. He broke the kiss and looked into my eyes again. "Please, Liv. Please, help me forget." His face was nuzzled into my neck, biting softly on my skin. _

_I let out a soft moan and nodded. I pulled him off my neck and looked into his eyes. "Let's forget together," I whispered. I pulled him in for another kiss, our lips meshing together. He tasted of bourbon and something I could only describe as purely Elliot. _

_He picked me up and carried me to my couch, laying me down and climbing on top of me, never breaking the kiss. I felt his hands start to explore my body over my clothes. I moaned. I couldn't control myself. I wanted him. I could feel the wetness pooling between my legs. His kiss was unrelenting. I broke the kiss when I needed air, gasping for my next breath. _

_He kissed my neck and pulled my shirt down, sucking on the tops of my breasts. I arched my back and moaned, my hands clawing at his shirt. I felt him hard against my thigh, my hips bucked up to meet his, grinding against him. He responded with a grunt. I pulled him back down to me and bit on his neck. "Fuck me, El," I whispered in his ear, already breathless. _

_I took his tie off of him and ripped his shirt open, sending the buttons flying across my living room. My hands wandered over his muscular chest, my nails gently scraping his skin. _

_He seethed. "Shit, Liv." He say me up, whipping my shirt over my head before pushing me back. He kissed my chest, my whole torso, before slipping one of his strong hands under my back to unhook my bra clasps. He threw my bra to the side once the offending material was off my body. He quickly took one of my nipples into his mouth, sucking gently, holding it with his teeth, and flicking his tongue over it. I arched my back and rested my hand on his head._

_"Jesus, fuck me, baby."_

_He looked up at me and smirked. He released my nipple with a 'pop'. "Yeah, you like that?" He asked, his classic Stabler shit eating grin on his face. _

_I moaned and let out a whiney "Mhmm."_

_He kissed me again, swallowing my moan as he started to rub me through my pants. My hips moved with his hand. I was desperate for a release. "Easy, baby. Just feel it," he whispered to me. _

_I pulled his hips to mine by his belt. I unbuckled it and made quick work of getting his pants off. He smirked and did the same with me. We were left, him in his boxers, and I in my lacy thong, grinding against each other. I felt him push my panties to the side, slipping a thick finger inside of me, working me good. _

_He seethed again, feeling how wet and aroused I truly was. He could feel it, and we could both hear it, every time he pumped his finger in and out of me. "Ooh, your pussy is so wet, baby."_

_His dirty talk made my eyes roll into the back of my head. Elliot Stabler, good Catholic little choir boy, just told me my pussy was wet, which made me even wetter. "El, baby, please fuck me!" I shouted, needing to feel him inside of me. _

_He pushed another finger inside of me and towered over me as his fingers pistoned in and out of me, his rough palm rubbing against my clit. "You're going to come for me just like this baby. Let me make you squirt, lick you clean when you're done."_

_I wasn't a squirter, but I had a feeling this man would make me one. His fingers were relentless, teasing my g-spot and my clit at the same time, filling me so completely with his fingers. I could feel it. He started to move his fingers up and down inside of me, and that was it, the next thing I knew I felt fluids gushing from my core, and he smirked. "Yeah, baby. That's it. Ride it baby, ride it good," he whispered. _

_I was screaming loudly from the sensations that I was experiencing, many of them for the first time. "Fuck! Elliot, oh fuck yes! Aah, uh huh." My hips were grinding hard and fast into his hand as my earth shattering orgasm took over my body. I pulled him in and kissed him passionately as I came down from my high. He pulled his fingers from me and I let out a groan. He licked them clean then proceeded to kiss down my body, licking my ejaculate from my inner thighs and my mound. I gasped and tried to pull him up. "Shit baby, please."_

_He shook his head, his tongue moving with his head, sending shock waves through my body. My head fell back and I let out a low, guttural moan. My back arched and my hand shot to his head, keeping him in place as he quickly brought on my second orgasm of the night. "Fuuuuuuck!"_

_He smiled and kissed back up to my lips, letting me taste myself on him. "Fuck, you taste incredible."_

_I smirked and pushed him up and got him sitting, I pulled my now sopping wet thong off, tossing it somewhere and got down in front of him on my knees. I pulled his boxers off and started stroking his long, thick dick with my hand. "So hard, baby. I can't wait to feel it in my pussy, getting deep inside of me, filling my tight, soaking wet pussy so good."_

_He let his head fall back and groaned. "Shit." I put my lips around the head of his dick and looked up at him, only to have him moan again. "Ah, fuck, Liv. Baby, don't look at me that way."_

_I released him and licked up his shaft as if he were a lollipop or ice cream cone. "You want me to suck your dick or you want me to ride it? You want my lips or my pussy wrapped around it, right now?"_

_"Suck me, baby. Suck me dry." _

_I smirked and went back to my former ministrations, my head bobbing up and down as my lips ran over his dick. I felt his hands tangle in my hair, holding it so he could watch me. I looked up at him and started to play with his balls. He gasped and bucked his hips into mine. I took him all in, the tip of his dick at the back of my throat. I felt his dick tighten and twitch, and I knew he was close. I kept playing with his balls, swirling my tongue around him until I tasted his cum in my mouth. I moaned and swallowed every drop he have me. I kissed back up to his lips, straddling him and kissing him hard. We tasted each other on our lips, we tasted what we tasted like together. And it was damn near heavenly. _

_I started grinding my hips into his, feeling him getting hard again. I smirked. "I want your hard, long, thick dick in my soaking wet pussy baby. I want to ride you hard, fast, get my breasts bouncing for you," I whispered, biting his neck._

_He groaned and put his hands on my hips. "Ride me like you're at Coney Island baby. Fuck!"_

_I smirked and took him in my hand, guiding myself over him, moaning as he sunk deeper and deeper inside of me. I waited a moment, needed just a second to adjust to his impressive length. I started to bounce my body up and down, riding him hard and fast, my hands resting on his knees, my breasts and pussy in full view for him._

_I wasn't ashamed to admit I knew what men liked. I knew they liked to watch their dick pistoning in and out of a pussy. I knew they liked to see as much of a woman's body as possible. I made sure to always deliver. _

_His hands rested on my hips, aiding me as I rode him hard. He slapped my ass, gripped my hair, and gently tugged. His fingers found my clit and vigorously started to rub it. I let out another scream of pleasure as I fell forward, into him, my lips meeting his. "Fuck yeah. Oh shit. Fuck that pussy good."_

_He groaned and maneuvered us so I was back on my back, and he had one knee on the couch, kneeling. His other foot rested on the floor. He lifted my hips, pulling my legs over his shoulders as he continued to pound inside of me, still running my clit. "Come on Liv. Come for me again. I'm right here."_

_I let my head push further into the pillow and let out a silent scream as my third, and final, orgasm for the night, tore through my hot, sweaty body. "Oh, Elliot!" I managed, feeling his cum inside of me, my body still shaking from one of the most intense fucks I'd ever had in my life._

_He collapsed on top of me, groaning in ecstasy. He brushed a lock of hair from my eyes and smiled. He kissed me softly, stroked my face. "Thank you." _

_I looked up at him and let out a moan. "No, thank you." I smiled and lay by head back, closing my eyes. I felt his weight push off of me and heard rummaging about. "What are you doing, El?" I asked, thoroughly fucked and exhausted._

_"I uh... I just remembered that Eli has a soccer game in a couple hours. You... You want to come?"_

_My heart sank. How could I have been stupid enough to think he'd fuck me, bring me to new heights, and actually stay and fall asleep with me? "Er- no. No, you should be with Kathy and the kids right now."_

_He nodded and walked back over to me, leaning in for a kiss, but I turned my head, his lips landing on my cheek._

_"I'll text you later, see how you're doing," I said gently, feeling embarrassed of my nakedness, but too tired to do anything about it._

_I didn't hear his response, if he gave one. The next thing I heard was my door close. Once I was sure he was gone, I rolled onto my side, curled up in a ball and bawled my eyes out. I cried for what had just happened. I cried for Sister Peg. I cried for Jenna. I cursed myself for being so stupid. I just wanted to rewind the day and start over, change it, somehow, so I didn't have to feel like this now. Empty. Broken. Hurt._

That was the last time I saw him. The last time I heard from him. That, was three months ago.

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**A/N: Thanks for reading! Please review here or on Twitter UnbrokenBarista! I'll be finishing this soon.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's the conclusion of this fic. Hope you like it!**

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_I try to find you at the bottom of the bottle_  
_Lying down on the bathroom floor_  
_My loneliness was wrangling windows_

I kept calling, kept texting, hell I even went to his house, pounding on the door. He never answered. As if him getting up and leaving as soon as he finished fucking me didn't make me feel bad enough, now he was ignoring me. I was nothing more than a piece of ass to him, I never was. At least that's how he made me feel. There were nights I would get drunk, praying he would come bursting through the door. Even if he never touched me again, never brought me to the places he brought me that night; I just wanted my best friend back. Those nights I'd wind up sleeping on the floor of the bathroom, the cold tile feeling good against my face that felt like it was on fire.

He didn't even have the decency to tell me he was leaving NYPD; that he put in his papers. I had to hear it from Cragen. I broke down in tears in the interrogation room after. I had cried for so many things over the past few months. Right now, my heart literally hurt. It was like someone took the knife that had been there for the past three months and twisted it, hard. I felt like my body was being split in half, and it was all his fault.

If he didn't break me before, he broke me now. He did what no one thought was possible, he broke Olivia Benson. I had to get it together, at least for appearances. Our new recruit from Atlanta, Rollins, looked up to me. I couldn't let her, or anyone else, see me like this. It was over, as far as I was concerned, in that moment, Elliot Stabler could go to hell and rot there. I was done.

I snuck out of the interrogation room and made a quick bee line for the bathroom where I splashed some cold water on my face. I patted my face dry with a paper towel and took a deep breath, composed myself, and walked back out into the squad room, as if I wasn't shattered into a million little pieces.

The months passed, and the ache in my heart got less and less, but it remained. Then, David Haden walked into the squad room. He was a fine piece of attorney that made my heart flutter. We'd gone out for drinks during the case he was helping with, but tonight, the case was over, we could just relax.

We walked out of the bar; I put my gloves on as we walked. "You know, I haven't worked that well with anyone in a very long time." My smile was so big my jaw hurt, but I didn't care.

He smiled back. "Me either."

I took a deep breath and pursed my lips for a moment. "Night cap?" I offered with a sly smile.

"Well, I do have a meeting… with the deputy mayor… at seven tomorrow morning." His voice was low and gruff. Our faces inched closer together before our lips met in a hesitant, perfect kiss. Before we knew it there was a cab at our side and we broke apart. "Timing," he muttered, as frustrated as I was.

I took a breath to compose myself, remaining coy. "You know what they say, you can never find a taxi or a police officer when you need one." I winked and smiled coyly at him. He opened the door for me and I climbed in. I gave the cabbie my address and he closed the door. I let out a breath, leaning my head back.

Once I got home I started digging through my purse and my pockets to find my phone. It was nowhere to be found. "Damn it." Just as I was about to head out to go back to the bar there was a buzz in my apartment. I walked over to the speaker. "Who is it?"

I heard his voice, muffled, but still incredibly sexy. "It's David."

My heart fluttered again and I smiled. "Come on up." I buzzed him in and a few minutes later there was a knock on my door. I opened it and smiled a coy smile. "Counselor."

He nodded. "Detective." He held up my phone. "You left something behind at the bar."

My face lit up. "My phone! Wait, how'd you get this?"

He chuckled a bit. "You left it at the bar. The bus boy saw us leave and brought it out after you were in the cab, which is how I got your address."

I smirked and leaned against the door jamb. "My hero." I bit my bottom lip and looked up at him.

He went to walk away, but he stopped and looked at me. "That uh, that offer for a night cap. Does it still stand?"

I opened the door wider, allowing him in. "I thought you'd never ask." I closed and locked the door once he was inside and looked back at him. "What can I get you? I have scotch, bourbon, I think I have vodka in here some—"

He cut me off with his lips. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him back. His tongue traced my lips. I opened my mouth to his tongue and I felt his tongue meshing with mine. It felt incredible. I moaned into the kiss. He released my mouth gently and caressed my face. "I want you to be my night cap," he whispered against my lips. I gasped and looked into his eyes. I nodded. "Come on, let's sit and talk."

I smiled and took his hand in mine, leading him to my couch and sitting down, with him sitting right next to me. "What did you want to talk about?" I asked softly.

He looked at me. "The first night we went out for drinks, you told me you were just getting over something."

I took a deep breath, closing my eyes and hanging my head. "It's a long story, David."

"I've got all the time in the world for you, Olivia."

I looked over at him. "I wouldn't want you to think I'm a slut. Trust me, it comes off that way."

He touched my face gently. I closed my eyes, reveling in the feeling of his skin on mine. "Olivia, you're a grown woman, you are entitled to a sex life. It doesn't make you a slut, you hear me?"

I smiled gently and nodded. "I'm sure you heard about the shooting at the squad a few months back."

"Jenna Fox, yeah, I remember."

"Elliot Stabler was my partner. We were partners for twelve years. He was the one who shot Jenna, and killed her. That day, after all the IAB stuff and whatnot, I offered to drive him home. He wanted to come here. He wanted help forgetting that he killed a kid. Begged me. I gave in. We had sex. It was incredible, but when we were done, he got up, got dressed, and went home… to his wife and five kids." I felt David's hand on my knee. He was silent for a couple moments. "Told you," I whispered, looking away from him.

David put a finger under my chin and turned my face back to his. "He used you, Olivia. You are more than just a good fuck. You're an incredible woman, the whole package."

"How do you know I'm a good fuck?"

"Because everything else about you is incredible. You truly are the whole package. Beautiful, smart, funny, you have a career, you're self-supporting. Olivia you have a bigger heart than anyone I've ever met. You're gorgeous, sexy, and your laugh, Olivia I would do anything to hear your laugh and see your smile. Any man who gets every part of you is lucky; you deserve to be made love to, not fucked."

"Well, fucking is fun every now and then."

"Have you ever made love, Olivia? Truly been connected, heart to heart, with another human being?"

I blushed and shook my head. "No. No, I can't say that I have."

"Making love doesn't have to be in the missionary position, soft and slow. What constitutes love making isn't the gentleness, the ease, the position even. It's the feeling. Olivia, I've never fucked anyone. I've made love, and I can promise you, it wasn't boring."

I looked into his eyes, intrigued by what he was saying. I caressed his face, ran my thumb over his lips, feeling him kiss the pad of my thumb. I smiled. "Do you think, making love, would heal the pain in my heart?" I whispered, my voice cracking slightly.

He rested his hand over mine. "It might, if it's the right person."

I felt my breath hitch. "Make love to me, David. Please."

He smiled and leaned in, kissing me softly at first, but the kiss built in passion. He pulled me closer. I straddled him as we kissed, making out on my couch for a few more minutes. He broke the kiss, my lips attached to his neck. "Bedroom," he whispered to me, breathless.

I looked into his eyes and smiled. I stood up, taking his hand and lead him into my bedroom. He ran his fingers through my hair. "God, Olivia, you're so beautiful."

I smiled and looked into his eyes. "Thank you." He kissed me again, his hands slipping under my shirt. He moaned gently. I gasped into the kiss, his fingers felt incredible on my skin. He broke the kiss and started to kiss my neck. I let out a breathless moan and I started unbuttoning his shirt, untucking it from his shirt. "David," I moaned, biting my bottom lip. I tangled my fingers in his short hair, my neck tilting, feeling him start to nip at my skin.

He detached his lips from my neck for just a second as he took my shirt off. I pushed his shirt off his shoulders and ran my hands over his torso. He looked into my eyes. "I'm going to worship your body tonight, Olivia. Everything you deserve," he whispered.

I was already breathless, my chest heaving. "How are you real?" I asked in a whisper. I smiled and smiled as he turned me around, unhooking my bra, kissing my shoulders as it fell off of my body. I moaned gently, feeling him turn me around again. He looked over my body and I hung my head, anxious and afraid of what he would say.

He lifted my chin and I looked into his eyes. "Hey, you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." I smiled and kissed him again, my hands working on his belt and his pants, pushing them off his hips. I felt my pants slide off my hips. I stepped out of them and felt his hands on my ass, gently squeezing. I let out a squeal and a giggle.

I broke the kiss and looked into his eyes. "Naughty," I smirked and winked.

"Hey, I may be classy, and enjoy love making, but I do like a little kink."

"Kink, huh? How kinky are we talking? Am I dealing with my very own Christian Grey here or…?"

He chuckled. "No, not at all, light bondage, spanking, dirty talk. I'm rather tame."

"Dirty talk, huh? Well, I don't know how dirty talk works with love making, but when it comes to fucking, I'm an expert at dirty talk." I winked and felt him pull me closer, letting out a growl in my ear. I let out a moan.

"What kind of dirty talk?"

I smiled and walked my fingers up his chest. "Usually, I get close, whisper in his ear, my voice filled with passion, whining with need and want…" I got close, my lips next to his ear. "Ooh, baby, fuck my pussy. Fuck me good, baby. I'm so wet; I want your big hard dick inside of me. Getting deep, oh, baby please." My voice was high pitched and whiney, my breath teasing his ear. I smirked and pulled back, biting my bottom lip.

He groaned. "Shit, that's so sexy."

I looked up at him. "So, uh, what are you going to do about it?" I asked with a smile.

He picked me up and laid me on my bed, pulling my panties off with his teeth. He looked into my eyes. "I'm going to make you come over and over again, all night long." I moaned and arched my back. I felt two of his fingers inside of me and I seethed.

"Oh, David, baby." I moved my hips into his hand.

He smirked and whispered close to my ear. "You're so wet."

My hands grabbed my sheets and balled them up as my back arched off the bed. "Baby, please, harder."

He started moving his fingers harder and faster inside of me, his palm rubbing against my clit. "Come on, Liv. I got you, just let go, feel this."

I gasped and let out a moan as my orgasm wracked my body, juices leaking from my core. "Oh, God, David!" I pulled him close and kissed him passionately. I broke the kiss and looked into his eyes. "Oh God." I blushed, realizing I had once again, squirted. I was embarrassed. "David I—"

"Hey, don't you dare apologize." He kissed me again. "I think it's insanely sexy."

I looked into his eyes. "Really?"

He nodded. "God yes, knowing that the orgasm I just gave you was that powerful… God, it just turned me on even more."

I smiled gently, groaning in protest, feeling him pull his fingers out of me. He kissed me again and I flipped us, taking his boxers off of him, tossing them to the side. I looked down at him, straddling his hips. "Can I ride you?" I whispered in his ear, gently biting on his ear lobe.

He groaned. "I'd love that, Liv."

I smirked and guided myself over his dick. I let my head fall back and I moaned. He was bigger than I expected. He was bigger than anyone I'd ever been with, Elliot included. Once I had adjusted to his size I started to ride him, grinding my hips into his, feeling his hands hold my hips, and his hips moving up to meet mine, getting so deep inside me I was sure I could feel him in my throat. "Oh, shit, David, oh yeah." I squeezed my breasts and moaned, starting to move over him faster and harder, my release was building again. "God, David, I'm so close."

"I'm right behind you baby, let go, come for me."

"Oh God, aah." My head fell back, my hips grinding hard into his as my orgasm wracked my body for the second time that night. I felt David's cum inside of me and I moaned again. When we both rode out our orgasms, I collapsed on top of him, breathless and sated. He ran his fingers through my hair and I smiled. "Oh, David, God that was amazing." I kissed him gently, nipping at his bottom lip.

"You're incredible Liv."

I smiled and rested my forehead against his. "So are you. God, I never thought love making could be that amazing."

"See, it's worth it. How do you feel?"

"For the first time in months, I feel… whole again. I was broken, David, and you fixed me."

He gently caressed my face. "You fixed yourself. I just… showed you how."

I smiled and kissed him again. "Stay with me tonight?" I asked in a whisper, praying he would say yes.

"Absolutely."

I took a deep breath and smiled. I was done crying, my heart didn't hurt anymore. I was done crying over a man who could have cared less, when I was in the arms of a man who showed me that I was more than just a piece of ass, who showed me I was worthy of being loved, of being worshipped.

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**A/N: So there it is, please review, here or on Twitter UnbrokenBarista. **


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